Embrace Flow (CEP 817 Module 4)

Italicized passages taken from Annie Dillard's The Writing Life.

“Original work fashions a form the true shape of which it discovers only as it proceeds…”

What is perfect? What is the “perfect” writing, the perfect novel, the perfect poem? What’s perfect to one may be refuse to another. Do any of us know exactly what a final product will look like when we sit down to write? Not I, said the duck.

Words can flow like water or come as sparingly as water from stone. Words can have one meaning, or many. What one person interprets your words to be, another may disagree with. Let your words flow. Let them form your ideas. Don't oppress them. The rest will fall into place.

“You make the path boldly and follow it fearfully.”

Finish. Edit. Post. Done! *phew* Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Is it good enough? Why is nobody responding? Maybe everyone thinks I’m dumb. Maybe they don’t get it. Why isn’t anyone saying anything? I wish I’d said that differently. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe they’re wrong. Maybe everyone is on vacation. Does anyone see my point? I’m afraid I look silly. Maybe I am silly? I am me.

“I admire those eighteenth-century Hasids who understood the risk of prayer.”

Each word written is a risk. Words make thoughts. Expressing thought exposes potential weakness. Opens doors to arguments. Gives others something to disagree with, poke fun at, lambaste. What is life without risk? Bubbles and helmets. Fear and uncertainty.

Teach risk. Embrace uncertainty. Pop the bubbles and cast off your helmets. Your ideas are yours. Share them freely. They can be critiqued but they cannot be taken. Not if they’re truly your own.

Intrinsic? Extrinsic? Who am I?

I'd like to think I'm an intrinsically motivated student. I'm fascinated with the concepts of education, and the possibilities that technology provides. I read ECAR bulletins just because they're interesting, and I wait impatiently for new chapters and modules to be posted in my program's courses. But, am I intrinsically motivated?

I love getting good grades. Getting a 3.5 to me is much like getting a 2.0 to another. So, even though I'm intrinsically motivated to learn the materials, and work hard to make sure I understand the concepts behind assignments, does my "grade obsession" make me an extrinsic student? When grades come back lower than I expect, I get anxious, panicky "why did I only get a 3.5? Or 3.0?"

Reading the chapters from Brophy's Motivating Students to Learn for my CEP 802 course, I'm left soul searching; Am I as intrinsic as I claim?